Taking accountability seems simple, but it is a skill that most people don’t understand.
I define taking accountability as taking fault for your wrongdoings, owning up to it, and apologizing to those you hurt, with a promise of improving yourself and how you go through difficult situations.
It’s not blaming your mistake on others, events, or random weird things. It’s not making a situation you caused seem out of your control. I’ll tell you this—there aren’t “worldly forces” that caused this error that somehow weren’t yourself.
You are the one to blame for what you did wrong. It’s simple, but so many people don’t understand or admit it.
College helps us to grow into ourselves, teaching us the lessons we need to learn. One of the biggest lessons I’ve come to realize is that I can’t blame others, events, or situations for what I do wrong because ultimately it’s not right. I am the one to blame, I must accept that and make things right.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve worked on taking accountability whenever I do something wrong because I want to become a better person, friend, student, daughter, sister, and partner every day.
I noticed that people have trouble admitting their wrongs, blaming what they do on such things that honestly don’t make sense. Even worse, some people try to gaslight or manipulate their way out of what they did wrong.
“I never said that,” or “I never did that,” are perfect examples.
I urge you to think about this quote, from C.S. Lewis in “Mere Christianity”: “For you notice that it is only our bad behavior that find all of these explanations.”
You may think lying, blaming, or deflecting is the easy way out. Sorry to break it to you, but it isn’t. It ruins friendships, relationships, etc.
How about, “Yes, I did something wrong. I admit it and I take full accountability for it. I’m sorry. I’ll do better.”
I promise you, once you accept your wrongdoings, and you make it known to those you hurt, they’ll respect you more for being honest and accountable over lying and being deceitful.
I say it’s a life skill because it makes your relationships and friendships stronger. It builds trust, instead of breaking it. When you’re honest, it shows others that you are trying to be a better person every day.
It shows people that you care about how you hurt them and how you want to do better. It shows them you learned and grew from said situation.
My mantra is that I want to become a better person—one who people want to know and be reckoned with. That starts with taking accountability.
Dominique Mercadante is the head editor for The Setonian’s Campus Life section. She can be reached at dominique.mercadante@student.shu.edu.
